How does the voice inside your head talk to you? You know the one you bounce ideas off and look to for suggestions in your lifes choices? The one who looks back at you from your eyes each morning? Are they helpful, a critic – positive or negative? We all have the voice inside who we look to for advice as its our “inner voice”. The one who can be your best friend or your worst enemy – depending on the day.
Many of us would go and talk to our friends, suggest they be nicer to themselves when they are negative. Make comments that cut and are cruel about themselves. Then we do the opposite – we go into our own inner critic slamming ourselves relentlessly for the mistakes we make and what a fool we are at times.
How we see ourselves is as changeable as the wind and weather! It can be hot as one day, freezing the next or storming within the same day. Our emotions and self talk can be as damaging as a hurricane with effects that last for years after the event is over. It’a time to say “stop – wait a minute?” You need to get the traffic lights out and get them working. Yes you will have go, get ready to stop and go.
A simple way to start improving your self talk is to see what thoughts run through your head daily. Pick one and use your traffic lights to control your thought. If its not productive and its slamming you, being relentlessly negative – stop it. Switch it out for something more useful. A kind word or two. Hey I did a good job – yes I can do better with time. Talk to yourself the way your want to be treated.
Everyone imagines the joy of being loved and wanted so desperately. Girls long for the vampiric type of love portrayed in novels and guys may want a woman who worships the ground he walks on. Neither are real or helpful yet this is what our society bombards us with on a daily basis. You have to have to fit into a particular mould to be happy – own certain things, etc, reality it’s a load of nonsense! Yes it’s nice to have the ideal image and money, however, real happiness starts within you!
It’s not about bouncing from one relationship to another. Yes the first fluctuations of love are awesome – when the emotions die down, its time to move onto the next one. Except you still have to live in your own skin – look at your reflection In the mirror. If you are not happy now – that will not change unless you do some work for you!
I am learning to be happy in my own skin – own the body, emotions, memories, choices and more I have made over time. Own that the past is my creation, today being explored and the future to come. That what I want to do is my responsibility – I create my own reality.
Some things have happened that were extremely confrontational for me. The past and today collided – yet looking into them at a different angle – I shocked myself with my reactions. As we age we are vastly different from our 20’s or younger years in more ways than one.
I found myself thinking being more open minded, not so insecure in my own skin knowing that no matter what happens I will be ok – so will the other people. Yes, hurt is there, a bit of disbelief, then a question of if they are so unhappy why not do something about it? Taking a different approach – works out well – no one needs to be a doormat or let doubt and rage creep in. I made some classic stuff ups growing up and still do – yet to this day – I have no regrets as I would not be the person I am.
I wonder what drove this person to their actions – what the payoff is? Still no one can live a person’s life for them – you need to let the air in and change happen. I am stronger because of this and appreciate myself and others more than before. Sometimes you have to lose yourself to discover who you are. You need to give the people you love the freedom to live life – for them to risk and you as well as its natural. Sometimes routine kicks in and you wonder “is this it”?
I see many of you going through pain and confrontation – there is light at the other side of the darkness. The pendulum swings again – the sun comes up and moon rises. You breathe change with every breath you take. Hang in there – the people who hurt you with their actions, the people you have hurt – will all be ok with time.
Everyone is our teacher and there is always something to learn. Living your dreams takes courage and every day you have courage when you open your eyes to face they day. To when you go to bed and beyond in your dreams.
There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the preconceptions around you. You may carry a belief around like I have for 32 years and need to let it go. I have never been happy with my body since I was twelve .. and its time to stop. The weight is not a true reflection of me and my soul. Yes I am carrying a bit more than I did a couple of years ago I am also hitting near 50 and change of life and my body is changing. I am healthy and happy with the energy I have – yes I need to eat more. Still a thought pattern of 32 years takes time to let go. I am happy with how I am now .I don’t need to prove anything to anyone even myself. My body is amazing as is it gets me through every day and acts in harmony with every action I do and don’t ask. No matter what punishment I throw at it ..it gets back up and says hey I got this lets go! It’s amazing every wrinkle, every stretchmark, every line I am perfect as I have always been even when too blind to see it. I am learning to love this body more every day as it’s a great and unique gift. I get out of bed, I can move, no pain, enjoy life, music, food and movement like dance. I am blessed and am grateful for the body that houses my soul. It’s a journey in progress and weight is not a true reflection of who I am or anyone else! Be happy within your own skin the changes will follow! 😊
Do you ever have those days when you feel squashed flat – like a balloon that loses its air slowly? You want to float and bring joy to others at the party, and somehow keep deflating. Our energy rises and sets all the day. Like the sun setting and rising, the sun and moon passing each other into the day and night.
I have found a song that helps you “rise” up and bring hope plus inspiration.
With illness of any kind it can often cause you to feel flattened. Like you have no energy and been hit plus run over by something like a steamroller! How do you get through this and still feel ok? No one size fits all answer exists for this.
First of all its ok to not be ok!
We are not always going to be running at 110% there are going to be times when you need to slow down.
Be kind to yourself!
Too often we have the negative voice inside saying nasty thoughts – all the while this is not helping you get well! It places more stress on your immune system and body amplifying the illness symptoms you have. I know its not easy being sick – there are so many things you could or are telling yourself you should be doing. Hello – you need to rest and get well. You need to be kind – sit still give your body and soul a chance to regroup and build up.
Yes this is a hard one especially when you are often active on a daily basis. Not being able to do what you normally do is challenging at the best of times – when energy is nearing feeling zero. Somewhere you need to find a balance – stop pushing past the point of exhaustion your body will crash and burn.
Give yourself time and do what you need to get better! Rest, keep your fluids up, allow yourself to be stiller than normal!.Read a book, watch television, sit outside and enjoy the sunshine, enjoy some time alone.
Make sure you keep your fluids up – Dehydration is not a good place to be!
I refer to “Mojo” as energy. What happens when your mojo takes a dive and the tank is empty? How can you refill it when you are dragging through the day as it is?
First I stop and breathe. The art of breathing is so important and many of us forget that we can use this to calm and refresh ourselves. No matter where we are in the busy day of life you can stop, shrug your shoulders, close your eyes, take a deep breath and let your cares be gone for a moment or two.
If we breathe shallow it feels like an asthma attack, when you have exercised to long and struggle to get the breathe in or even an anxiety attack. So no matter whether you are sitting in a chair at a desk, in a high rise, a office, a cafe, school or even driving your car. You can get your mojo back with a good calming breath.
It doesn’t take long before you will feel better and your body will have more energy!
One big thing I have learnt with this new era of work – its not the weight, height, body shape, age,medical conditions, lifestyle that matter in the here and now. Its being ok in your skin, being ok with being healthier not comparing yourself to 20 or so years ago. Its not about kicking yourself or comparing yourself to others. My motto is to help people look at themselves and see the beauty within. To see a persons eyes light up, the inner soul and spirit being fed coming to life…to say hey I can do that or I did it! You are all so much more than what you see. To exercise is to move..its to dance..to listen to the rain on the roof, move with the beat of life or create a new drum beat of your own. Nothing is impossible even when the voice in your head – the wounded one who does not want to see you change because it is scared..it is ok. Work through your fear even if it is uncomfortable. For out the other side is a new life with many possibilities you could only ever dream of.
The perfect body differs greatly from one person and from culture to another. What would be considered “perfect” for one may be the exact opposite for someone else. So while we are human each of our own version of “the perfect body” is vastly different. What you may not like about yourself – someone else would think it is perfect and wish they were that way themselves.
I always wanted to be taller and thinner than I was – genetics and logistics won’t let me be taller. I will never be a Victoria Secret Model in height or size as I am a small height and solid build (which I am getting leaner/muscle toned). It took me a long time to be grateful for my body and weight. Still a work in progress as we always are – evolving and changing.
While you will have your version of the “perfect body”, I believe its more important to be the best version of you. As you are now and will be in the future. Appreciating yourself and being grateful for your amazing body that gets you through every day, every emotion, every meal and every breathe. The one that moves you around, helps you live each day and keeps you alive. No matter what shape, colour of skin, scars, age, wrinkles, muscles, height or anything else in your body – it is an incredible gift.
You are a miracle of creation – there is only one of you – even identical twins are different! You are more than the reflection you see and body you dress every day. You already are amazing even if you do not feel it or are unable to see it at the moment. You are complex, funny, inspirational and motivational. There is so much more to you than you realize. Yes being healthy is a huge gift, managing any physical or emotional illnesses challenging. Looking after yourself as you would look after others is a big change for many people.
You may not think so – you are “perfect” as you are and a work in progress. Like a beautiful artform created over a period of time. The artisan had an idea and saw something in that paint or piece of stone no one could see. Through time, effort, love – change took place and look what came from their vision. You are always evolving and changing – there’s only one of you. You deserve to be happy, healthy, loved and appreciated for who you are – starting with the one you see in the mirror.